At looooong last...

At long last, I am posting a blog again. My first instinct is that I need to do a "catch you up to speed" blog to chronicle everything that has happened in the six or so months that I've been absent from blogspot, but the task just seems too daunting to tackle at 4:13pm on a Monday afternoon. I'll do the super abbreviated version with the (small) possibility of fleshing it (or maybe just parts of it) out at a later date:

So in my 12th and 13th week of pregnancy I experienced some of the scariest days of my life. I had some horrible pain, heavy bleeding and disgusting, huge clots bigger than the palm of my hand. At one point in time, the hospital nurse (trying to help me prepare for what she felt was true) told me that she believed the clot I had passed was "tissue" as she put it: in other words, that I had miscarried the baby. However, time after time, via prayers and blessings and the help of good medical experts, sonograms would show our little Nugget still alive and well. I will never be able to describe the feeling of seeing his tiny little body still there - of hearing the soft "blip, blip, blip" of the heart monitor that found his pulse. "Relief" seems like such a weak word and "grateful" surely fails as well, but that's all I've got for now.

The entire summer of 2010 is a blur of bedrest for me but the fall brought better days and I was able to return to work and to be out and about in the real world. I worked from home for the most part, then worked part-time from home and part-time in the office, and felt (and still feel) hugely blessed to have understanding bosses who made that option available to me.

Nugget (as we consistently called him throughout the pregnancy) was due December 7th, but we knew we were at high risk of pre-term labor due to the placenta attachment issues we had been dealing with, and it was our constant prayer that if we couldn't make it to the full 40 weeks, that we at least make it to what is considered "full term" - 36 weeks. On the exact 36 week mark, my water broke. (God. Answers. Prayers.) I didn't go into labor on my own and had to go in and be put on pitocin to induce labor because the baby's risk of infection greatly increases if he's not delivered within 24 hours of the water breaking.

After about 11 hours of labor (which, as crazy as it sounds, didn't feel that long) our little man was here. During my labor, I had my whole family - mom, dad, sister, and brother; as well as Justen's parents, in the room with me and I was really glad for it. Everyone but Justen left when it was time to push and he was the best helper I could imagine. He sat right by me and counted aloud for my push counts and he bragged on how hard I was working and what a great job I was doing. His presence and his calm helped me soldier through and after maybe 10 minutes of pushing (plus an addition 6-8 minutes of the nurses saying, "he's right there but DON'T PUSH because the doctor's on her way") he arrived. I don't care what anyone says, newborn babies are awful looking creatures and he was no exception. Covered in the gooey white cheese and scrunched and bloody and screaming - with the pointiest head known to man. But all the same I couldn't wait to get to hold him and was so happy when they put his tiny little self on my chest. There would be plenty of time for cleaning.

He was born at 2:10am on November 17th, 2010 and weighed 6lbs 7oz and was 19 1/2 inches long. After being with him for about 24 hours, we decided to name him Ryan Maddux, which I really love.

Luckily breast feeding came pretty easy for both Ryan and myself and we transitioned into our new roles as mom and person-outside-the-womb pretty well. He just turned 4 months old on the 17th and he's got to be the easiest baby ever. He's slow to cry and quick to smile, he loves lights and ceiling fans and stares at them for extended time periods and with intense interest. He is laughing as of late and we saw him roll over for the first time day before yesterday. And I know, I know, every mom is partial to their own offspring, but I seriously think he's just too cute. He has fuzzy blonde hair (and eyebrows and eyelashes just like dear ol' mom) and big ol' eyes that get bluer every week. Watch out, ladies.

Aside from Ryan, almost nothing has been going on in my life and that's no joke. I had to go back to work when he was three months old and I keep waiting for that to get easier. Justen had a good football season and is now in the middle of track, which has some really long hours, but we'll get by.

We are trying to decide when to begin trying for baby #2. On one hand, it took us a very, very long time to have Ryan, so maybe we should start now. On the other, what if it works right away this time and we have another baby only 9 months from now? It's a lot to think about!

Justen and I are both in callings as teachers right now - I'm 2nd Sunday teacher in Relief Society and Justen is 2nd and 3rd Sundays in Priesthood.

We have 1,000 projects that could use to be done at the house (planting some greenery, painting the kitchen, wallpaper removal, etc.) but it's really all back burner to just spending time being together and marveling over this little guy that we somehow have had the privilege of being given.

Life is good.